Many of you who know me at all know that I generally subsist on apples and peanut butter.

Don’t worry, I made sure Norway had both of these food items before I even started the immigration process.

The thing about Norway is, they don’t have big stores like Target, Wal-Mart, Sam’s, Costco, or anything else. The average grocery store, in my so-far limited experience, is approximately 2000 square feet. Meny might be a bit bigger, but to give you a comparison, the Super Wal-Mart in my hometown is something like 180,000 square feet.

Whether you go to Kiwi, Rema 1000, or Coop Prix, the largest jar of peanut butter you can find is around 350 grams, which equals about 12.4 oz. That’s, like, the size of a can of tomato soup. Basically, it weighs less than twice as much as Norway’s most popular candy bar. And, let’s not forget, you can’t find creamy peanut butter to save your life. It is crunchy or go home empty-handed.

Those of you who know my digestive habits or have seen my cupboard know that I go for the 40 oz. jar of Great Value Peanut Butter about every two weeks. Yes, I know, that’s a lot of peanut butter. But when you can’t eat out basically anywhere and need your protein and happen to love peanut butter, you cope in whatever way you can. You tell me — should I eat McDonald’s, or an apple and peanut butter for lunch?

A salad is out of the question. I am hungry again within twenty minutes.

So, if we do the math, I need about three jars of Norway peanut butter every two weeks for regular consumption. If I cook with it, in addition, I need even more.

I’ve lost what this post even supposed to be about. Anyway, they have great apples here, and I need to start a petition to increase the size of jars of peanut butter.